March 9, 2011

Ribbed: For a Monkey's Pleasure

Since we know that human and monkeys share a lot of the same DNA, much research is done to dive into the exact differences between the two. It turns out, at least I didn't know, that monkeys have bumpy penises that their human counterparts do NOT have. I swear I might have come across one or two that missed this "light switch" as the researchers from Standford are calling it.

This makes me think of those dildos that have pearls in the shaft that spin around when you turn them on. Maybe the monkeys are having better sex than us too. It certainly looks like they do in the videos I have seen.

So in honor of the monkey and his bumpy penis I bring you this video. See if this doesn't make you wanna kiss a toad today.

February 28, 2011

Get Your Screen Wipes Ready!

The new age in television is finally bringing us 3-D porn and it's own channel. Penthouse 3-D is getting ready to launch in Europe so start perfecting your matrix skills because you are going to need it when all that gizz starts flying into your face. I can only imagine how entertaining this will be and how many people will get so close to the TV that they lose it and bust a pixel in the screen. It looks like there are going to be more to follow so we shall see whether or not this craze takes off.

February 2, 2011

What a Great Valentine's Day Present

College Humor has put together this great page of coupons that you can put together to make a nice, blunt Valentine's Day gift to spice up your relationship a bit. I posted the one above because it applies most to my situation. Call me Katie because I am tired at the end of the day.

At least, if nothing else, it beats overpriced roses and chocolates right?

January 13, 2011

Chastity Belts For Men: Saving Marriages One Dick at a Time

Finally there is a solution to the wandering male. The Chastity Belt For Men offers women some peace of mind in knowing that there husband is not going to screw any gutter bait when he goes on the bachelor party in Vegas. It also apparently solidifies my belief that there are extremely weak men in this world who need nothing more than to have a women control their every move.

" Once he has accomplished the task of conquering he sometimes looses interest (and not necessarily ‘love’) and is on the alert for a new challenge. In the meantime, he finds it very satisfying to go into a fantasy world and take care of his own needs. Have you every wondered why some times he can shower in three minutes and other times it takes ten to fifteen minutes…..I don’t think he is shaving his legs."
So they claim this is empowering to the woman yet they still find a way to subtly put her down. Ingenious. This must be marketed to a mutual submissive relationship. As revolutionary as this may be I think maybe they forgot to take into account that women do THE SAME THING. So I say, "Have you ever noticed water on the floor after the shower? And thought that maybe the shower liner wasn't doing it's job. Well consider that maybe the faucet is doing the job. Or maybe she is not shaving her legs either.

I looked at this and immediately thought this operated the same way you put on a door knob, no sexual innuendo intended there. There is even a curved model for the slightly longer male. I leave you with a testimonial from one happy customer:

"Thanks for the great service I received my CB-2000. My wife locked the CB-2000 in place. She loved the unit and it stayed locked (still on), we live a 7/24 relationship now for almost 8 years and she only allows me out for her gratification and back in. She loved the fact that business travel will no longer even be an issue." -New York-

December 16, 2010

Sticky Situations

A fertility clinic in Australia decided to place an ad in this month's FHM magazine that would cause the pages to stick together, literally. As you flip through the pages you come to a page that is stuck with a gooey, sperm-like substance.

If they don't carefully put the magazine at this site and actually get the page unstuck they will see a woman wearing lingerie and the ingenious tagline "Don't Waste Your Sperm". The ad is directing young men to a website that has them take a quiz to see if they should donate their sperm.

Personally, I think it is a pretty cool ad. Disgusting, yes, but also very creative and I would be very curious to see how well it does for them. Too bad it would never fly over here in the states. Somehow, I just see the religious righteous finding a way to stop that from ever happening here.